Body Language Tutorial. Part 4 of 7 - How to Use Body Language in Effective Communication.

OK, ok… So how do I use body language to be a more effective communicator?

Body language can be used for a number of powerful applications in communication and this boil down to how you or the other party is representing congruence in their/your own communication. There are three broad areas of classification where body language can be used for more effective communication:

1. Manipulation of information delivery. We can either erase, buffer or amplify the impact of information delivery, depending on how congruent our body language is with the message being delivered at the time of delivery.
2. Prediction of events. By searching for and vetting out incongruence in someone else’s communication we can aid ourselves in the accuracy of predicting their future behavior.
3. Sensory Acuity barometer. This can help us to know how far we should go with our communication and whether we should change directions with it.

The efficacy of any of the above is completely dependant upon finding and/or achieving congruence/incongruence in your communication and the communication of others. The question then becomes congruous with what? Well, I am glad you asked… Congruity can be measure in one or all of the five areas mentioned earlier… They are the cultural/contextual, historical, content, speaking/verbalization and fundamental areas. Let’s discuss them briefly below:

Cultural/contextual – This refers to the societally established body language norms for your region and the placement of the communication. For example in some cultures showing overt symptoms of anger is considered taboo. Contextually, it is generally incorrect to be highly animated while in the middle of a catholic mass.

Historical – This actually refers to how the person “normally” acts in any given situation. For example, if your tardiness has never bothered them before… why all of a sudden does it bother them today?

Content – Content refers the actual subject matter of the communication. Incongruity can occur when the body language does NOT match up with the content. For instance, let’s say someone is telling you a story about their relaxing summer vacation at the lake while they are perpetually fiddling with their pen and their eyes are darting back and forth… Do you think something might be up?

Speaking/verbalization - This is the tone, pitch, rhythm and volume that are being used. This does not refer to the content or subject matter, but the actual delivery of the subject matter. If someone is explaining to you that they were late to the meeting because they had to save an old woman from a burning building while using a monotonous, flat and dull delivery… something probably isn’t right.

Fundamental – When we say fundamental, we mean processes that span the entire race and biologically occur regardless of race, culture or developmental processes. These are genetically propagated, hardwired traits that have evolved over thousands of years. For example, when people truly smile not only do their lips and mouth role back and upward, but their eyes squint to a degree with subtle forehead movement. This is a fundamental process.

Now, these five categories produce 5 important questions that you can ask yourself (mentally) before any communication that will help you to evaluate the level of congruence and how you should deliver it:

• What type of message are you trying to communicate? – Content.
• What is the context geographically/socially/culturally? – Context/Cultural.
• What type of demeanor will help to facilitate that? – Direction.
• What are the fundamental verbal and nonverbal traits of that demeanor? – Fundamental/Speaking.
• Are their any specific fringe traits that should occur? – Historical.

Tomorrow we will discuss the actual manipulation of information deliver and how we can use the 5 questions above to be a more effective communicator.

As always, please visit The Communication Expert to learn more about body language and other forms of effective communication.

The Communication Expert | David J. Parnell